My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
two words...techno handjob
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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