We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
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i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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