I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
