i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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