I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
