Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize
