Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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