so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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