Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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