i think my mom watched the whole time
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
