oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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