I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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