Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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