Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I would fuck him just for his dog
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
