I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
