if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
