I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
