What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm always down for nudity.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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