Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
