Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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