I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize