Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I need water and some morals
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