The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize