I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
