singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
