She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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