Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
