Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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