i permit you to call me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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