woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
