see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
