Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
