At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
