I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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