Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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