And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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