I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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