How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
