i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
