Whod you bang
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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