Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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