If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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