Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
