WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
