And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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