I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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