Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
