3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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