Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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