I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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