so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
