I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
