Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
