it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
